I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
