Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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