the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
