erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
