I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I bet he comes in French.
Welp...herpes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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