i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
