I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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