Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
