Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize