the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
