No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
