its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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