I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize