Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
