So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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