You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
