I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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