So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
