Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
