You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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