ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize