yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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