my soul wont recognize me after tonight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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