please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Success! We fucked roommates!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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