Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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