I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
