is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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