i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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