I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
