I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
