five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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