Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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