Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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