I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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