You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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