Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
