I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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