Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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