he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
