I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
