So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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