There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
