yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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