Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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