your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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