Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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