im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
