All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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