after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
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