I'm so fucking centered right now
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever