Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
