their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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