They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.