i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize