the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
