Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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