So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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