okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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