DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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