my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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