Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
