I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
