My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it was like eating out sand paper
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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