Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
